The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

 The memory I have of an incident when I experience bias happened about 20 years.   I went on a ride-along with my husband at the time.  He was a police officer and an African American.  I am white.  We stopped at a Popeyes for dinner and went to the counter to place our order.  He placed his order first.  I then attempted to place my order.  The counter person, a female, told my husband his total.  I said that we were together, and I needed to place my order.  The counter person refused to look at me.  I explained I was his wife and needed to place my order.  At this point, my husband began to laugh.  After standing there for several minutes, he told the counter person to take my order.  I had never been treated that way, nor had I ever treated anyone that way.  I was embarrassed.  When we sat down to eat, I tried to discuss the situation with my husband.  He did not want to talk about it.  Many thoughts ran through my head after the situation ended.  Did she not take my order because I was white?  Did she not receive my order because I was with my husband, who is African American?  Did she not take my order because they knew each other, and she did not like me being married to him?  

The situation made me feel insignificant.  It made me question how others feel when something similar happens to them.  It opened my eyes to the mistreatment people experience for being different.  To change the incident into an opportunity for greater equity, the counter person should have treated me the same as any customer that walked through the door.  Or, my husband should have spoken up and told the counter person we were together and to take my order.